Have You Found Love Online—Or Are You Being Scammed?

Are you about to fall for a senior romance scam? Or have you really found true love online?

When you’re looking for love or companionship, online platforms and phone apps can plunge you into a sea of exciting new connections. But the plunge also makes you bait for predators who pose as romantic partners. These romance scammers hide behind fake profiles, pretending to be your perfect match. Then they drain your wallet, your trust, and your peace of mind.

Senior Romance Scams: The Emotional and Financial Toll

Romance scams drained more than $389 million from the pockets of people over 60 years old in 2024 alone. And that’s just what was reported—experts estimate only about 3.6% of victims ever come forward to report being scammed.

Some people lose a few thousand dollars before realizing what’s going on. Others lose tens of thousands—or even more.

The damage from romance scams isn’t just financial. Victims often walk away with deep emotional scars: shame, betrayal, heartbreak, and a sense of isolation.

Why Seniors Are Targeted for Romance Fraud

Scammers don’t happen to find victims—they seek them out. Among the things that make seniors prime targets are

• Financial resources: Seniors often have substantial savings, retirement funds, or own homes, making them attractive targets for scammers seeking financial gain.
• Loneliness: Many older adults live alone and crave connection.
• Trusting Nature: Older generations often default to trust, not skepticism.
• Financial Assets: Retirement savings, home equity, or a steady pension make them attractive targets.
• Less Digital Experience: Some aren’t as familiar with online threats or the tricks scammers use.
• Fear of Judgment: Many victims don’t report scams because they feel embarrassed or worry others will see them as incapable.

How Romance Scams Work

Romance fraud usually starts with a message—on a dating app, social media, or even email. The scammer seems charming, interested, and emotionally available. Within days or weeks, they say they’re falling for you. They build up an intense connection fast. You’re thinking, “Finally, someone who gets me.”

Here’s how they usually operate:

Love Bombing

The scammer showers you with praise and affection. Maybe they send you poems, playlists, or even small gifts. They talk about your future together way too soon. That fast-forwarding isn’t love—it’s manipulation.

Build Trust and Create Excuses

They message often, always seem interested, and make you feel like the center of their world. But whenever you suggest a video call or meeting in person, they’ve got a reason they can’t. Overseas military duty, oil rig jobs, a broken phone camera—you name it.

The Ask

Once you’re emotionally invested, they hit you with an emergency. A sick relative. Travel funds to finally meet you. A business deal they’re about to lose. They say they just need a little help—and they know you care enough to send it.

Typical requests include

• Medical expenses
• Travel costs
• Legal or business fees
• Utility bills
• Customs fees for a fake inheritance

Alternately, they may talk about a business deal that could make you rich…but only if you invest right away. Oh, and don’t let anyone else know about the deal.

Secrecy, Isolation and Control

The scammer may try to isolate you from your friends and family. They’ll discourage you from discussing the “relationship” with anyone who might discourage you or expose the fraud. Secrecy lets the scammer maintain control over you.

That isolation helps them keep their grip.

The Disappearing Act

Once you’ve sent a significant amount of money, show signs of becoming suspicious, or run out of funds, the scammer will vanish, leaving you with heartbreak and financial losses.

Warning Signs to Watch For

These red flags often show up early. Knowing them can keep you—and your loved ones—safe:

• They say “I love you” way too soon.
• They try to move the conversation off the platform quickly.
• They avoid meeting or video calls with creative excuses.
• They ask for money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency.
• Their stories change or don’t quite add up.
• Their messages are riddled with grammar or spelling errors.
• They discourage you from talking to others about your relationship.
• They seem “too perfect,” saying exactly what you want to hear.
• They always have some crisis that needs urgent financial help.

Protect Yourself (and Others)

Scammers are convincing, but you can stay one step ahead:

• Take Your Time: Don’t rush into emotional decisions.
• Do a Reverse Image Search: If you’ve got a photo, check if it shows up under other names.
• Never Send Money: If you haven’t met in person, don’t give them a dime.
• Be Skeptical of Over-the-Top Romance: Real love builds over time, not overnight.
• Loop in Someone You Trust: A second opinion can spot red flags you missed.
• Limit What You Share: Don’t overshare personal or financial info online.
• Be Wary of Unsolicited Contact: Especially from people with barely-there profiles or no mutual connections.
• Cut Off Contact: If it feels wrong, walk away. Immediately.

If You’ve Been Targeted

You’re not alone, and you’re not to blame. But you do need to act fast:

• Stop All Contact: Cut communication completely.
• Contact Your Bank/Financial Institutions: If you sent money, contact your bank, credit card company, or wire transfer service immediately to report the fraud.
• Freeze your credit: Contact the three major credit reporting agencies (Experian, Equifax and TransUnion) to freeze your credit. Freezing your credit will make it difficult for scammers to apply for new credit or loans in your name.
• Report the Scam:
  • FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov
  • FBI IC3: ic3.gov
  • Local Police
  • The Dating or Social Site where it started
• Find Support: Scammers are pros at what they do. It’s not your fault. Don’t try to deal with this alone.

Helpful Resources

• National Elder Fraud Hotline: 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311)
• AARP Fraud Watch Network: 1-877-908-3360
• FTC Scam Alerts and Guidance: FTC.gov
• FBI Elder Fraud Info: FBI.gov

Don’t Let Your Guard Down

Stay informed and vigilant so you can navigate the online world more safely and protect yourself from the devastating impact of romance scams. Remember, if something feels off, trust your instincts and talk to someone you trust. Your financial security and emotional well-being are paramount.

Image sources:
Top image: Istockphoto
Infographic created by Waymoreliving.com using Sketchwow